Hey Dad,

Here finally! Charlottesville, Virginia, America, the Northern Hemisphere, the World, the Solar System, the Milky Way Galaxy, the Mind of God. All thanks to you. I will pay you back. Its expensive I know. Inspite of the scholarship. But Univ. of Va. has a very large endowment fund and I’ll get an assistantship. Watch. Thanks again Dad. It’s like a dream. Classes begin in a week. Will write soon.

Jeh

Son,

Hope this letter finds you in the best of health and spirits. We are proud and we are sure you will make us proud. Mom and I miss you already. The house is empty without you. We are even missing the loud music. Donít worry about expenses. That doesn’t mean you go wild but you know that education is what matters to us. You worry about your grades and I’ll handle the rest.

Love

Dad

Hey Dad,

Can I call you Shiv? Nah! I can see those eyebrows arching upwards. A couple of my friends call their parents by their first names. Cool I think. Won’t work with Mom and you will it? School is hectic. The dorm is a blast. Three weeks gone. Mid terms in another two weeks. Will do well I promise. Figuring out this American obsession with basketball. Hey how is Bruno. That fat dog! Bet he’s gotten fatter without me taking him for a dozen daily walks.

Cheers

J

Jeh,

Do you need anything son. Mom worries. Hope you are eating well. Remember it’s important to take of your health, you are alone there. Also there has been something that I have been meaning to tell you. I know you get upset when we raise this but no wild behavior. We won’t stop you from having a good time but be responsible. Okay no more lectures. We are all well. We called last night but you were out.

Dad

Dad,

Don’t call. Calls are unsatisfactory. Too short and we will all feel like hell afterwards. Expensive too. Well the first term is over. Am going to a friend’s place for Christmas. Nags Head in North Carolina. Did I tell you about Jason? Great buddy of mine. Lives in my dorm. You would like him. Got to run. Get my grades day after tomorrow. It’s cold as hell here. Is Delhi cold too? It’s the wind-chill factor that kills you here. Love.

Jeh

Hi Dad,

The second terms started yesterday. Jason’s family was very nice. Nags Head is beautiful. Did you know that the Wright brothers flew the first airplane from Nags Head! The beach was bleak but the house overlooking the sea was beautiful. His parents got me a tie for Christmas. I didn’t get them anything. What an ass I am. I got Jason something.

Jeh

Hullo Son,

Seems you had a good holiday. We got a copy of your grades. Keep it up. Mom has been grinning like a Cheshire cat. Jason seems to have become your best friend. We are glad you have made friends. Delhi is cold now. Maasi was over for a week from Calcutta. She is doing well.

Love

Your Dad

Daddy,

I want to tell you something. Actually have been wanting to say this for a very long time. Thought of calling but always chicken out. Dad, you and Mom have been incredible parents. I know that and really, really appreciate that. So before I go any further Dad, I want to say I did not ever want to hurt you guys.

Dad, I think Jason and I may be in love. God! This I know has made your heart stop. Dad is being gay wrong? Daddy, I think I always knew I was gay. I always wanted to speak out but was scared. Jason is a very nice guy. Tell me I haven’t upset you beyond belief.

Jeh

Dear Dad,

No letter, no call. I got the money in my account via wire transfer. Have paid the fees. Dad, Mom please say some thing. This is killing me. I called two days ago but Chander said you guys had gone out. He said Bruno had been ill. What was wrong with him? I feel like crying while writing this. I am sorry that I upset you guys.

Love

Jeh

Dear Jeh,

Yes son. We are upset. We won’t say we are not because we are. Yes we believe we are broad-minded but then it is different when your own son says he is gay. Are you gay? Are you sure? Lots of boys go through phases. Your Dad has taken this hard. Perhaps you should call. We need to talk.

Mom

Dear Mom,

No I am not going to call. I said I am sorry but then maybe I am not. Why should I apologise? And this is not a “phase”. I have known for a very long time. It was a matter of time. I am sorry but I can’t live my life according to your terms.

Jeh

Jeh,

Son. I have started this letter three times and destroyed it three times. Son, you have a bright future ahead of you. You are in a good school, you are smart, and you are a good person. I don’t want you to make a mistake. Jeh, God didn’t make man and woman to have unnatural relationships with their own sex. Where is the moral sanctity in a homosexual relationship? Will society ever accept it? Your Mom and I still feel this is something that you have got into because you are lonely.

Jeh, we want the very best for you. We want the happiest possible life. A wife, children. Think of the future and think of us.

Dad

Daddy,

Think of you. What about me? And you are wrong. I am not lonely. In fact I have never felt so complete and free as I feel now. Dad, society is changing around you. It’s not a sin to be gay any more. People from all walks of life are coming out. Even in India. And you guys actually know that. Please, please understand. Look, I love you guys and I will always will. I know I have disappointed you but what price do I have to pay in terms of my wants and happiness if I have to please you. Think about it DAD!

Love

Jeh

Dear Jeh,

At the end of the day we are your parents. We will always support you. Give us time. We are trying to understand. It isn’t so easy for us. Daddy keeps looking at your photographs. He has missed golf for the last two weeks. I am not telling you this to make you feel bad but at some level have some compassion for him too. I am sure over time we will accept it. Perhaps you may change your mind. We love son. Take care of yourself. Bruno was ill, very ill but is better now. Dr. Chadha is a good vet.

Lots of love

Mom

Dear Son,

The summer holidays are due in two weeks. I know that your exams are around the corner but we haven’t discussed your summer plans. I want you to come home for the summer. No pressure but we want to see you. What ever your choices are we will accept them and son perhaps you will help us accept them. If you want to invite your friend, do so. He is welcome in our house. Write or call and I’ll get the tickets done.

Love

Dad

Dear Daddy,

Yes I’ll come home, but only for the second half of the vacation. I need time to myself after the school year. No I’ll not ask Jason because this is a time for us to explain ourselves to each other. At the end of the day we know that we are a family and we have to look out for each other. Dad you used to say to me a man is judged by what he achieves in terms of his contribution to society. You wanted me to be an achiever in terms of what I create. Sexual preference is not going to be an issue in a couple of years. I know you are not buying all of this but yes we will sit and talk.

I love you guys. I am nervous about the finals

Jeh

Dear Jeh,

We will be glad to have you back soon. Don’t worry son. We have talked and discussed a great deal and your Mom and I have decided to respect your choices. I don’t claim that we completely understand all of it but that is life. Welcome back Jeh. I hope you still play golf. You never mentioned anything about it in your letters.

Love

Dad

The memories of innocence; the ones of “sense” and “feel” for, games weren’t taken lightly games were all for real. Your dreams so bright, eyes opened wide, love was a give in, nothing denied. Strength, freshness, freedom found, no rough edges only round.
Like dreams they fade as life rolls by and soon your laughs transform to cries. Strength turns weak, fresh to dry; the memories like dreams soon fade and die.
But, you should cling to memories like dreams they light your way and with some thought those faded dreams can come true one day. And, even though your memories are elapsed and dreams lose light and dim, you can always close your eyes and dream your dreams again.

In the dark and silent hours before dawn ~

Answers Await……
Knowledge Knocks…..
Lessons Live…..
Awareness Awakens…..
Wisdom Waits……
Enlightenment Exists….

Slow your breath.
Still your mind.
Let your journey begin……

In my life I know I could conquer the world,
I’ve become a woman from such a small girl.
I can conquer the world if that’s what I choose,
I will demand that I win by not accepting to lose.

In my life I can conquer all of my fears,
I can conquer the demon when it first appears.
I can conquer your heart if given a chance,
I can offer you love, and lust, and romance.

I can conquer my past and demand that it ends,
Assure a grand future that includes no dead ends.
I can conquer the world and my word will be spoken,
I will love all unconditionally assure no hearts are broken.

I can conquer my demons and conquer yours too,
If you only give me a chance that’s just what I’ll do.
I’m not prideful, nor full of myself but I own self-esteem,
And I won’t allow life to gift me with only my broken dreams.

My ego’s my demon and I keep it in it’s place,
I’ll keep love in my heart and a smile on my face.
I know I will win at life if this is what I choose to do,
Because with God I can do all, and He will help me too…

With God I am unstoppable and I can conquer it all,
With God I’ll walk on high and I won’t mistakenly fall.
With God by my side, and with God in my heart,
I’ll conquer the world, and spread my love to all hearts….

This too shall pass
Perhaps we will look back and laugh
or smile, or reminisce
But one thing is for sure - this too shall pass.

This too shall pass
The horrible feelings, the torment we feel
the clouds that never seemed to lift from our day
Just as soon as they came will fade away.

Because - this too shall pass.

All our thoughts and feelings and tears will calm
and we will be better for having experienced the bad
better relate to the problems that others may have
And we shall be stronger and more understanding….

Because - this too shall pass.

Let us do what we must to survive these days
Do ourselves proud, dig way down deep and find strength
Demand to win, just by refusing to lose
By not letting the enemy take what means the most to us - our souls.

Because - this too shall pass.

Let’s not bow down to their level - their evilness, their contempt
Rise above - stand tall, head in the air - proud
because we know the truth - inside our hearts and souls
We will survive, and one day again even thrive….

Deny ourselves to feel the rage that is so destructive
Permit ourselves to feel peace and serenity amidst the storm
Vindictiveness has no place in a heart that is pure
Forgive, forgive, forgive….and live.

Because too shall pass..
This too shall pass…..

The captain cries tears of sorrow
enormous waves are rapidly approaching
mankind will not remain
the world is consumed
the tears quickly stop
the captain has failed
the ocean has won

You, my friend, may be gone from your earthly body, but in my heart you will always be there.
I will see you in the spring time, with the rebirth of the flowers and the new birth of the leaves upon the trees.
I will see you in the summer, when all the birds are flying in the blue sky, and the roses are all in bloom.
I will see you in the fall, when the air has the crisp scent of the winter yet to come.
I will see you in the freshly fallen snow of the winter.
For this is the time I know I will see you reborn again, in the earliest of the spring. This is when we both will be reborn again.
And we may enjoy the beauty of the new beginning of life.

I wanna be remembered
for all the things I’ve done
I wish to be remembered
for all the hearts that I have won
to have people speaking kindly,
remembering who I was.
And never looking sadly down
at people whome I loved.
I do not wish for u to cry,
when ever I am gone.
For, we will see each other again,
when our new lives have begun.
You can shed a tear happieness,
for I can hurt no more.
Remember all the good times
and the smile that I wore…..

The lonely tree,
With its strong branches,
Whispers to me.
Words and phrases
Incoherent to my ears, yet
Soothing to me.
Compassionate and faithful
While all neglects it, still
Protecting me.
Its tears, in the forms
Of resplendent dying leaves, fall
Unnoticed by me.
And when it dies, its once mighty roots
Pushed forcefully by the wind—something
Dies in me.

She comes across so very mystical.
Have you noticed her state of grace?
Seems to be magical.
Like a siren she can cast a spell over you.
Just like a man you fall for her.
What else can a man do?
Never under estimate the power of a woman.

She can teach you the meaning of love.
She can take you to levels above.
When you fly with her.
You’re gonna want to understand her.
You are never going to want to leave her.

As a man you are no longer an island.
This is something to hand down
to your children.
Never under estimate the power of a woman.
Have you ever been focused on her rhythm?
Doesn’t she make this life worth livin’.
Never under estimate the power of a woman.